Blink and You’ll Miss It

It’s crazy to think. It’s crazy to think that it has been a year (no a year and a half) since my last child was born. You see it is a little different this time. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but I am sure going to try. I am going to try and describe to you what it is like to be in the middle of fathering your last child. Maybe, just maybe this time I won’t take for granted what I did with my first four. Though I can’t exactly explain it, I sure can tell you, it is different.

So the story starts with a 7 year old little girl praying in her room every night before bed for a little sister. That is what our first born daughter was doing for over a year. She was so sad that the three older boys had friends to play with, and she had no one. Sure she had mom, and we had at the time one female dog, but it just wasn’t the same. She wanted a sister. But what about us, the parents? What did we want? Did we want another child? Could we afford another child? Could we handle five? That is a lot of kids. I mean we were moving towards and empty nest, and on to my dream of traveling the world. That was until my wife sent me the text.

It was one afternoon at work, and at this time we were all still working from the office and there really was no such thing as “Work From Home”. I typically get a few texts from my wife a day, and so I looked at it, saw that it was a little longer than normal, and just moved on to getting my task at hand done. I figured that I would be calling her later on my break, and whatever was in the text could wait until then.

Fast forward to my break, and then I get the chance to read the message. The message went something like this, not exactly, but close; “Hey sweetie, I have been thinking and praying over the last few weeks and even months. I believe that God is telling me we should try and have another baby. Babies are gifts from God, and Emerie has been praying for a little sister, and I think we should try. Instead of just saying no please think and pray about it.” Right then and there I wanted to call or text NO! It is not what God had been telling me. I wasn’t ready for a baby. I mean it had been 7 years since I had changed a diaper, been awoken from my sleep in the middle of the night with a crying baby. I was for sure that we were not being called to have another baby. But I didn’t send that. I just sent, “Ok, I will think about it.” And thinking, and praying I did.

So after many talks and discussions, and back and forths we decided we would try, and leave the rest up to God. You see I was the practical one. I didn’t think we could afford it, that we had too much stress as it was to have another child added to our family, and what if it was a boy? What if our daughter’s prayers were not answered like she had expected them to be? How would we explain that to her? Well I am glad that I went against all of my “logic” and said yes. Because this past year has been one of the BEST years I could have ever imagined.

Her name is Addison Mae. We have named all of our biological children after musicians. Addison comes from a band named “Addison Road” that we listened to in college, and Mae comes from a band by the name of “Mae” that we also listened to in college. It has sort of been our thing with the names of children, and it has worked out fantastically so far. And besides having one of the coolest names, she is an AMAZING addition to our family. She has this curly blonde hair, and wide bright blue eyes. Her smile is contagious and as she is getting her voice, it is so soft and sweet. But the best part? She LOVES her daddy! You see this time it is different. I had the “dad surgery” so we will not be having any more children, and to be honest I was sort of scared of babies for my first two. So there were things that I missed out on, that I am really cherishing this time. Trying not to just get to the future, but enjoy the stages she goes through. And after year one, that has allowed us to build a bond that will be very difficult to break.

You see she has the luxury of dad and mom both being home most of the time. My other children grew up with me in a retail, at the store, working on the weekends, GREAT job. I mean that too. The job was awesome, but it didn’t always allow me to be there when I wanted to. But now I am in a field and with a company where I get to work from home. This has been the case for Addie’s whole life. She has seen her dad. I have watched her, played with her, had meals with her, and just been more present than I was able to with the others. It has been special for sure.

As I alluded to earlier also I am less afraid. I know how to change that diaper, know that if she falls she will get back up, and that these stages don’t last forever. I am at a time in my life where I am a little more patient, and a little more sensitive than I was. And because of this, it has been a lot of great times.

You see there is something about living in the adventure rather than living for the next adventure. Most of my life I have lived my life going from adventure to adventure. All the hard work was to get to the adventure, and halfway through that adventure I would start thinking about my next one. But not now. Or not mostly now. I am trying to live in that moment. To enjoy the journey to the adventure through the hard work, and REALLY enjoying the adventure itself. Because what kind of life is it to work so hard to get there, and then to never appreciate it? Or to never live it?

So that is where I am at. Both with my daughter, and with life; let’s just live in the moment. Let’s appreciate the joys, the failures, the ups and downs of live while we are living. Let’s not forget that life is a gift and we only have one of these things. Let’s enjoy the stinky diapers, and the I love yous. Let’s enjoy the failures to make it and the mountain top wins. Let’s learn to adventure with joy. If we can master this, I believe it will make those little adventures that much sweeter. My next adventure may just be watching my daughter conquer her first potty in the toilet, and the joy I have in that moment can be as great as my next beach adventure. So go with me. Live in the moment, and love soooo deeply that others can’t help but feel joy in their moments as well.

Until the next journey remember to: Adventure Often, Love Always